Anonymous

FESTIVAL COMEDIAN BEING DEPORTED BACK TO TASMANIA

Folk-comedian Justin Heazlewood AKA Triple J's The Bedroom Philosopher has 2 weeks to prove his comedic worth or he will be deported back to his hometown in Burnie, Tasmania, it was announced last night.

Justin found out after a press release was leaked unveiling Steve Brack's controversial new 'Tasmanian boat people' policy. Premier Bracks is allegedly concerned with the large numbers of Tasmanian's fleeing their unemployment ravaged state for brighter pastures in Melbourne.

The Victorian immigration department has told Justin his Tasmanian passport will be revoked unless he is able to wow them with his unique blend of toe-tapping folk-rock parody and sexy stream of consciousness, in his Melbourne Comedy Festival show 'In Bed With My Doona'.

'I think it's disgusting,' a distraught Justin said from his bed this afternoon. 'I've only just arrived in Melbourne and I really love it here. I think its blatant statism. I really don't want to go back, it's not safe. There's some guys from high school that still want to beat me up'.

A formal protest will be held outside Town Hall on the corner of Swanston and Collins Street at 9am Thursday in the form of a 'bed-in'.

'Tasmanian's need a voice, and I'm prepared to be this voice. We've got to put all our heads together and fight this. We've been the butt of everyone's jokes for long enough.

Justin is encouraging not only Tasmanian's but all Australians to join his at his bedside vigil by bringing a pillow and doona and singing along with his 'Tasmanian national anthem'. Please bring enough textas for your protest signs and enough film for your cameras.