Who The Hell Is Julia Wilson

[Nattogc]

Plenty of folks have got this chick confused with the all singing all dancing Julia Morris - but I can tell you now JULIA WILSON 'aint going to be singing on a channel 7 show, no no no - this woman is not prime TV material..

Julia Wilson is not for the faint hearted - and yes I am helping her out with a tour at the moment so there is some shameless promotion included in this post. - but she freaking makes me laugh this chick.

Check out her website and judge for yourself.. there are two little demos up there - one about drunk little girls from her experiences and a bouncer and one about having deaf people at her shows, all things your not to sure you should laugh at but you just cant help it.

Julia has been kicking it over in the UK and South Africa and has made a well earned name for her self over there - So aussies step up to the plate - what do you think of this chick

[Mythor]

And her website would be where exactly?
I have no opinion about her either way, not seen her do anything that I can recall.

[Alisso]

Julia Wilson broke my washing machine!

Julia's hilarious. I was really disappointed when she disappeared to the UK for so long, so I'm going to have to catch her Cracker show if I get the chance. Her Daddo story is brilliant *g* and she's a lovely lady, too.

ETA: Her website is here

[Nattogc]

Forgot about that web address bit

www.juliawiilson.com.au
MySpace.com - Julia Wilson - London/Sydney/On a plane to somewhere else, AU - www.myspace.com/juliawilsoncomedy
Julia Wilson | Facebook

I love the daddo sketch to - So wanted to get a Tshirt with "Your mine Daddo!!!"

[Nattogc]

here is a link to a video link of the deaf joke ..

YouTube - Julia Wilson Austrlian Stand Up Comedian

[Gutter Monkey]

DADDO!!!

[Nick]

I love Julia Wilson, she glad to see she is back. Wish I could see her perform!

[Spawn of Satan]

She always rocks

[Nattogc]

Julia Wilson's review of Cracker Fest


MY CRACK... AT CRACKER.
Cracker Festival 2008 started on April 16th



Wednesday the 16th I went into college, I'm doing a Small Business Management course to qualify for some Government Grant money. My accounting qualifications don't cut it but a short business course does so I can suck it up for a few weeks if it means a 12-month Govt grant that I don't have to pay back! Anyway, I'm at college and my acting agent rings me to tell me that I scored the commercial that I tested for last week. You should have seen me. I was supposed to be a member of a Board - we're talking business suit and all one-colour hair. I had trouble breathing when I saw myself on the screen, it's how I would have looked if I had stayed as an accountant… except there would probably have been noose marks around my neck from where I would inevitably have hung myself! So I get the call to say I got the gig, awesome. Mo' money mo' money. Then I realise the date… April 16th. That's the brother I hates birthday. He's in jail and I'm in Sydney scoring TV commercials, riding my motorbike and hanging with my dog. Sucks to be you Deano.


As the afternoon goes on I head home and get ready for my gig that night. It's the Cracker Comedy Festival Gala Night. It's being filmed for telly and the bill is awesome. Still not sure how I got on there but I'm thinking Jorge (Festival Director) is a bit of a champion at this stage. Call time is 4pm. I get there right on time and realise that only the newbies have turned up at the proper call time. So there's me, Daniel Townes (comic), Anthony Salame (comic) and Lindsay McDougal (aka The Doctor from JJJ's morning show and tonight's compare) hanging around talking shit like we do. T'was fun.


The seasoned Gala guys turn up (sensibly) at about six thirty and it's hair and make up for all of us. Hilarious. The line-up for the night was wicked and I had a ball. The Metro Theatre was sold out and because they were filming for telly, all the house lights were on. You could see every single face from the stage. It's pretty full on when you're playing a massive room making eye contact with every single person in there. Promoters, other comics, free loaders and punters alike. Gold for Australia.


Steve Philp warmed the audience up; he's a funny fucker. Lindsay (The Doctor) admits to the audience that it's his first MC'ing gig but that he feels that he couldn't do a worse job than last years host Bianca Dye, who went on stage drunk and talked about her boobs for ten minutes and got all the acts names wrong. Wish I were in town last year now!


First act was Al Pitcher, we've worked together in the UK heaps and I knew he'd smash it. He's a fucking funny Kiwi who gives really good car (that's what we say about people that are good company on long drives to and from gigs). Audience loved him. Well done Al.


Next up was Sugar Sammy, a Canadian man who is very funny and very pretty. Ahhh men who admit to exfoliating… they're not for me but he was funny and a good bloke so I give him a big tick.


Then came Anthony Salame, he does some wicked impressions and plays the wog card with finesse.


Daniel Townes hit the stage next. Daniel and I have been mates for ages and I never get tired of watching him. He's usually MC'ing (which he does brilliantly) so it was nice to see him do a spot. The crowd love him and he earns a post gig cigarette in the stairwell, what a glamorous life we have as comics.


Marc Maron is up after Daniel. He's an American comic who I have only met that afternoon. We'd been chatting music backstage and this guy knows his stuff so I was keen to see his comedy. I was laughing so hard I almost forgot that I was up next. I know that as Aussies we're a bit gun shy of the Yanks (pardon the pun) but Marc is a good bloke and funny as fuck.


I hit the stage next with an intro of 'She travels the world doing comedy so please welcome to the stage our very own Diplomat, Australia's First Lady of Comedy'. Piss funny. First Lady? Me? Not fucking likely Champ. I really enjoyed my spot and my seven minutes went way fast.

George Kapiniaris was after me and the crowd loved him. This is shaping up for an awesome night.


Nerves over I hit the break and the rider with gusto. I didn't realise this would be my last night drinking for a while but luckily I gave it a good nudge anyway.


The rest of the show happened while I was backstage. Charlie Ross, Arj Barker, Fiona O'Lochlin, Mark Watson and Julia Morris. The crowd were pissing themselves all the way through.


At the end of the night we go to the after party and as we walk through the door the press grab us comics and ushers us all to the side of the massive room. I've never experienced this before. We're talking flash bulbs going off in your face and TV cameras with big bright lights and people asking questions and scribbling stuff down on notepads. It becomes pretty obvious that none of the press knows who any of us are and so we all get the same attention, the same amount of photos and the same amount of retina damage as each other, knowing that when they go back to the office these journos will work out who's important and who's not. At one point Natto, my tour manager is mistaken as one of the acts and was about to be photographed. She pointed out that she hadn't performed that night and got punted to the side so they could continue their hunt. Whilst I had my photo taken a bajillion times, I was in no danger of being seen in the weekend papers and I thought it was funny as hell. Strange little life I lead.


The after party went for hours and I drank my body weight in the lovely sponsors wine.


Waking up on Thursday with a Yulumba sponsored hangover I realised I had to pull it together long enough to go to a luncheon that was being put on for us by Sydney Time Out magazine. Time Out in London is like a Bible. I ring my TM to tell her that I'm feeling a little less than luncheon-like and she tells me to get off my arse and get to the luncheon. I love Natto, she makes perfect sense. What I thought was going to fifty comics involved with the Festival all turning up for free lunch turns out to be a small gathering of about ten.


There were about five Time Out staff who were all very cool (and I think equally hungover) and a few comics. Reginald D Hunter, Marc Maron, Tahir and the Canadian boys from Scratch joined me for free food. I love free food. I was sitting with Marc and whilst I was pretty sure I was supposed to be 'networking' (which lets face it - just isn't in my nature), I was riveted listening to Marc talk about his days starting out at The Comedy Store in L.A. Stories of Sam Kinison, Richard Pryor (before he got sick) and a bunch of other god like comics had my full attention. I end up giving Marc a full list of Museums and Galleries he has to see while he's here in Sydney. Other comics always look after me when I'm on the road and I like to repay the karma. I give Marc and his publicist Kim a lift to the Triple M studios to be interviewed by Lehmo and Wil.


I figure as it's opening night for my new show SCARRED NOT SCARED I better get home and get some sleep. My hangover is still kicking the shit out of me and I need to be on form tonight so I bolt home and into bed. The day is about to take a turn for the worse.


I'd been asleep about twenty minutes and my phone went. It was my Doctor. I don't know about you but when your Doctor calls you, you bloody well take the call. She tells me that they have my blood results back. I haven't been feeling well of late and so she took blood during the week. Blood results and phone calls from doctors. My hangover just got a lot worse. I love Ruby my Doctor - she's awesome - but she opens with, 'Let me give you the good news. It's not HIV'. WHAT?!?! Are you kidding me? You're OPENING with 'It's not HIV'???? Holy fuck!! Followed by, 'It's not Hepatitis either'. Jesus Fucking Christ, that pretty much leaves me with cancer or mad cows disease when you set it up like that. I thought I might have a lingering flu or something but now I'm actually worried. Turns out I have been bitten by a particularly feral mosquito and I have Ross River Fever. Awesome. Not. It explains the aching joints, the fever and the short temper. For the last few weeks my usual patient, calm-ish self has been replaced by the Julia of Old where I've had to stop myself punching people in the face for annoying me. Ross River Fever. What that means is that for the next couple of months I'll have arthritis in my joints and I'll have my old lethargy of glandular fever back. Suckworthy if I ever I heard it.


While the shock of that is sinking in, Jorge the Festival Director rings me to tell me that the Electrical Contractors working on my venue (the one that I'm debuting my show in that night) haven't signed off on the work and that means a potentially live, uninsurable and quite dangerous room. He has pulled the show and they are getting busy calling all my pre-sales to tell them that the show has been cancelled. My hangover is now turning into something that feels like an aneurysm and I'm making a silent pact with myself not to answer the phone again that day.


Natto the awesome TM gets busy drowning the 'net with the information that the show has been pulled but the rest of the run will go ahead as planned. I hit the phone for people that I know are coming and the Cracker guys hit the phones for Credit Card pre-sales.


Friday is spent sleeping and making sure I'm doing everything I can to not let the newly discovered Ross River Fever get the better of me. I get quite gladiatorial about these sorts of things. Now it's me versus Ross River Fever. I was really fit and healthy when I got it so I've decided I'm not going to be one of the people who take a year to get over this. I've decided. Hear me virus? You're goin' down.


Friday nights show was one of the weirdest ones I've ever done. I was a bit dazed but I recognised all but six faces in the audience. I was running in a new show to people who had been present at half of the stories I was talking about. I went off script and had a ball just winging it. My mate Dom (who produced the first CD that we're selling) recorded it and the show sounded pretty good, but it wasn't what I'd scripted for Scarred Not Scared. Added to the fact that I'm currently shagging more than one or two of the audience and it makes you think quick on your feet. It's OK, all parties know the score but it was a little weird for me being on stage looking at them all sitting in the crowd. Strange, strange night.


On the way home I met up with two mates who were supposed to come to my show but fucked up on the location of venue and ended up going to see Marc Maron at The Comedy Store. I told them that Marc is heaps funnier than me so they probably pulled the right rein.

Saturday kicks off with a bang and a heap of pre-sales for the show. I've got the show pretty much locked away in terms of content and running order. I got plenty of sleep in the day to make sure I'm firing that night, this fatigue thing sucks arse, in case you were wondering. The Scooby Gang were all in attendance. I love those guys. We sell T-Shirts, stubby holders and CD's and a good night was had by all. Well at very least by me and lets face, that's all I care about these days.


.....

[Nattogc]

I went for a drink afterwards (non-alcoholic thanks to the Ross River Fever) and stopped by the Festival Bar on the way home. I ran into Ross Noble outside and we ended up chatting about motorbikes for half an hour. We were comparing photos of our babies on our phones. We looked like those annoying parents that have every second of their child's life documented on their phones. Ross is doing a ride day at Eastern Creek this weekend coming and invited me along. I'll have to see how the wrists and ankles are going but I'd love to do a day out at the Creek. I've just spent a stack on my Big Girl (my bike) so she's in good shape at the moment.

Continued....


We weren't sure if the Sunday show was going to go ahead because the ticket sales were slow in the week but they came home strong in the arvo. The show was small but I really enjoyed myself. I was explaining to the audience that since I'd become single again I'd come back off the bench with vigour. And the ages are getting lower… I started with a 44 and in the last few months I've managed 38… 35… 32… 26…23 (on my 33rd birthday… Happy Birthday ME…), I mentioned to the audience that I was currently auditioning the role of the 20 year old. I notice that the four guys in the front row were quite young so I asked them exactly how old they were… SIXTEEN!! Holy shit I could go to jail for just LOOKING at them the wrong way! Sixteen. Sitting in my front row. I thought it was awesome that these kids had forked out $17 to see me. At sixteen that's a fair effort. A mates Mum and Dad were in the audience too, I had warned them that I was quite the potty mouth on stage; the Mum replied 'I've been watching Underbelly to get myself ready'. To those of you overseas, it's a show on telly here about Aussie Gangsters and it drops more f and c bombs than any TV show we've ever had. I don't think the preparation was enough though!!


The 16 year olds bought a CD. It makes me happy to think that it will be passed around their high school. The recording is from Manly Boatshed a few months ago and it's a pretty good set. I pissed myself having a chat to them after the show; one of the kids is an exchange student from France. He's been in Australia exactly one day. Welcome to Australia Frenchy… this is what Australian women are like.


Farkin funny.


So my CRACKER this year had TV spots, luncheons, cancelled shows, Ross River Fever, successful auditions for dodgy commercials, a show with more blokes in the audience that I'd nailed than not, bike talk with Ross Noble, four sixteen year olds (including a French Exchange student) and my first go at selling Merchandise. It all went off quite well. My favourite bit though was teaching every member of my audience how to say 'cunt' in sign language.


I love my job.

Jules



www.juliawilson.com.au

xx

[Billyman]

I gigged with Julia on one her many stops at Scotland and found to be in yer face, kak your pants funny! Hit the stage like a Dynamo and doesn't let up until she's taken the room apart with laughter.

lovely lady, drinks with men and fights with ladies.

[dermo]

I'll tell you who she is,,she's the woman who stayed in my flat and broke my cups, she stayed at my folks house with me and broke their chair..then their inflatable chair..then their cups..then she broke the pool. So, Julia Wilson likes to break things...she breaks things up gooood.

she also was very funny at a gig in cardiff..but for all the wrong reasons :-)