'Wrong' Toys

[red_cherry]

Got any pictures or descriptions of kids toys that just seem kind wrong (even if its just your own dirty mind playing tricks.

I wanna start off with this one, It is supposed to be a kids toy (not sure exactly what) but looks to me like a giant frenchticker condom!



p.s hope the attachment works, my first go at attaching pics

[Gutter Monkey]

Originally Posted by red_cherry

I wanna start off with this one, It is supposed to be a kids toy (not sure exactly what) but looks to me like a giant frenchticker condom!

Maybe that's just because the guy wearing it is a dick.
Or maybe it just has that effect on people ...

This isn't quite a toy, but it's still wrong.

This is kind've disturbing.

This site has LOADS of disturbing toys.

[Gutter Monkey]

Oh my god, you have no idea what you have started ...

Here we have the Transformers Penis Page. I am not kidding.

Here we have the Lego Nazi Death Camp funtime play kits. Once again, I am not kidding. They were featured in the NY Jewish Museum.

There's HEAPS more. I found those listings here: http://www.portalofevil.com/archives...nmentToys.html
Some of the links are busted, unfortunately. Dammit, I want my army men porn!

[Gutter Monkey]

Oh god, I can't stop. I can't STOP!!!

Here's a page of toys that could kill or seriously maim children. And the problem is ... ? My favourite is the Snacktime Cabbage Patch Kid. I *knew* they were out to get me!!!

They've got a whole section on bizarre toys in their archive section: http://www.retrocrush.com/archive.html as well as a bunch of other fun stuff. Deadly Playgrounds is cool - dammit, how come I never got to play in an Enterprise-shaped playground when I was a kid?

And then we get onto INSANE things that have been inspired by toys. Such as the He-Man on Ice 'Power Tour' Musical. Ahahaharrrr, they made a Snout Spout costume!!! (But then again ... who am I to point fingers at anyone?)
And then there was the 'TMNT: Coming Out Of Their Shells' tour ...
The parent site http://www.x-entertainment.com/ has a BUNCH od cool/disturbing stuff about toys and pop culture.

[stubbadub]

You have just been itching for a topic like this, haven't you GM?

btw The Lawn Darts on the Retrogrove site look very very evil, who the hell would thought that this was a good idea?

[Gutter Monkey]

Originally Posted by stubbadub

btw The Lawn Darts on the Retrogrove site look very very evil, who the hell would thought that this was a good idea?

They were *quite* popular in America for quite some time, apparently. We never had them in Australia (that I've ever heard of) but I've seen a bunch of references to them over the years.

So is there any weird old toy that people remember that they want us to track down?

[unfrufru]

i just really wish i wasn't at work so i could look at these things (can never open links GM puts up at work just in case. mr i'm going to send girls duck porn)

[Mythor]

They were available at one point in Australia but they got removed damn fast when people caught on to how ridiculously dangerous they are.
Which is a shame, because lawn darts is great fun.

The Harry Potter broomstick-cum-vibrator still takes the cake for the most unintentionally hilarious toy in my book.

[Gutter Monkey]

Here's a self-righteous "Toys are bad, m'kay?" site that doesn't like the vibrating Nimbus 2000:
http://www.rense.com/general28/thh2.htm

That porno lollypop sounds interesting ...

[red_cherry]

This isn't a toy but its certainly wrong, has anyone seen those ads for mobile ringtones with a disgusting blue digital frog making motor bike noises? well if u watch it a few times look between his legs and you shall see he has a tiny digital penis that flops around as he moves!!! Its sooooo grooosss

http://www.ringtones4all.net/au/crazy_frog.html

[Gutter Monkey]

Originally Posted by unfrufru

(can never open links GM puts up at work just in case. mr i'm going to send girls duck porn)

Hey, that duck porn was quality.

None of the sites I've linked in this thread are pornographic in any way (except, perhaps, that lollipop). But I guess waiting until you get home is better than having to explain to a co-worker why you were looking at Transformer penises. Or a blue frog penis, even.

Originally Posted by Mythor

cum-vibrator

YAYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!

[Gutter Monkey]

Here's an article about those wacky non-safe 70'stoys, including lawn darts and a disturbing story about Baby Alive. A bit too much alive in this case ...

[lily]

Originally Posted by Gutter Monkey

So is there any weird old toy that people remember that they want us to track down?

Remember snap-bands, those strips of metal encased in a bit of (usually) bright pink polyester? You'd slap them against your wrist and they'd wrap around to make a cuff.
Unless, you (like a chick in my year seven homeroom) kept doing it over and over again, then at some point the fabric would wear off to expose ONE NASTY-ARSE WEAPON. She slapped it on her wrist, metal cut through skin, blood went spurty spurty, she spent the next few weeks looking like the world's most incompetent suicide attempt.

Then there were those things that pretty much looked like a tennis ball cut in half and you'd twist them inside out and put them on a surface, they'd flip back and go pinging off harmlessly into the distance.
Or, if you studied them and worked it out and aimed really carefully, kinda less harmlessly into your little brother's eye. He he he.

[Haggis]

Originally Posted by lily

Then there were those things that pretty much looked like a tennis ball cut in half and you'd twist them inside out and put them on a surface, they'd flip back and go pinging off harmlessly into the distance.
Or, if you studied them and worked it out and aimed really carefully, kinda less harmlessly into your little brother's eye. He he he.

"Pop-balls" I think they were called. I think I still might have mine in a drawer somewhere.

[red_cherry]

I used to have one of those pop balls, used to set it off on top of my dogs head, poor thing!