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Old 26-10-2005, 03:42 PM   #31
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jpegs of what? leeches?

hehe i think we just found a new euphemism

Drunk Midget to even Drunker Chick - Have you ever had anyone go up on you before?


Son: Is there anything we can do to get Buffy back?
Mom: Well, we could join together in prayer.
Son: Uh huh. Is there anything useful we can do?
Mom: No.

- Overheard In New York
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Old 10-11-2005, 06:53 PM   #32
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According to a study done by PhD student Leanne Webb, Australian wines are going to suck in the future due to global warming.

OH NOES!!!

"Wasabi is a sometimes food!" - Elmo
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Old 24-11-2005, 11:49 AM   #33
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where do i get a job like this?????

http://education.guardian.co.uk/egwe...647455,00.html

Self-study

Men behaving badly, single-handedly

Marc Abrahams
Tuesday November 22, 2005
The Guardian



When a young man masturbates, exactly how distracted does he get? An experiment performed on students at the University of California, Berkeley aimed to find out.

Full details are in a study that will be published in the Journal of Behavioral Decision Making. Dan Ariely, of the Massachusetts Institute of Technology, and George Loewenstein, of Carnegie Mellon University, in Pittsburgh, describe their arousing achievement in dry, formal terms: "We examine the effect of sexual arousal, induced by self-stimulation, on judgments and hypothetical decisions made by male college students."

The scientists begin their report by pointing out that "sexual motivation plays a direct or indirect role in wide-ranging social interactions and in considerable economic activity." Pornography alone, they say, takes in more revenues in the United States than the three largest professional sports (football, basketball and baseball) combined.

Having established that the topic is of value, Ariely and Loewenstein get right to the action. They explain how they recruited 35 students, offering to pay each a small fee for the effort of masturbating while answering a survey. Each student was given a laptop computer with a keypad "designed to be operated easily using only the non-dominant hand."

Some of the volunteers had instructions to answer the questions "while in their natural, presumably not highly aroused, state". Others "were first asked to self-stimulate themselves, and were presented with the same questions only after they had achieved a high but sub-orgasmic level of arousal."

The computer screen displayed "an 'arousal thermometer' with regions colored from blue to red representing increasing levels of arousal. Two keys on the keypad allowed the user to move the probe on the arousal meter to indicate their momentary level of arousal. The panel on the top-left occupied the largest part of the screen, displaying diverse erotic photographs."

The screen also showed the long series of survey questions. Some asked about the attractiveness of different sexual activities, items and opportunities. Among them: women's shoes; a 12-year-old girl; an animal; a 50-year-old woman; a man; and an extremely fat person. Other questions probed the risks the volunteer would take in order to obtain sexual gratification.

The volunteers were instructed to press the computer's tab key if they ejaculated. None reported doing so.

Ariely and Loewenstein say their results are "striking" and more than confirm what most people believe about young men as a group - that when aroused, they (1) become sexually attracted to things otherwise offputting; (2) grow more willing to engage in morally questionable behaviour that might lead to sex; and (3) are more likely to have unprotected sex.

"[Our] study shows that sexual arousal influences people in profound ways," they write. "Efforts at self-control that involve raw willpower are likely to be ineffective." This is a dig at theorists - the ones who advise people to just say no - from experimentalists who are unafraid to get their hands dirty. · Marc Abrahams is editor of the bimonthly magazine Annals of Improbable Research (www.improbable.com), and organiser of the Ig Nobel Prize

Drunk Midget to even Drunker Chick - Have you ever had anyone go up on you before?


Son: Is there anything we can do to get Buffy back?
Mom: Well, we could join together in prayer.
Son: Uh huh. Is there anything useful we can do?
Mom: No.

- Overheard In New York
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Old 24-11-2005, 12:42 PM   #34
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Getting Uni students to be wankers? That must have been really challenging. =d

Just invent some weird theory related to something you want to see/do, unfy. It seems like people will give money to any kind of research that pretends to be scientific.

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Old 28-01-2006, 09:48 AM   #35
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This might help out budding comedians with a fear of public speaking

Sex before stressful events keeps you calm
http://www.newscientist.com/article....mg18925365.500
GOT some public speaking to do? Here is a tip to keep stress at bay: have sex beforehand. But make sure it's penetrative sex - the magic vanishes if you pursue other forms of sexual gratification.
Stuart Brody, a psychologist at the University of Paisley, UK, compared the impact of different sexual activities on blood pressure when a person later experiences acute stress. For a fortnight, 24 women and 22 men kept diaries of how often they engaged in penile-vaginal intercourse (PVI), masturbation or partnered sexual activity excluding intercourse. After, the volunteers underwent a stress test involving public speaking and mental arithmetic out loud.
Volunteers who'd had PVI but none of the other kinds of sex were least stressed, and their blood pressure returned to normal faster than those who'd only masturbated or had non-coital sex. Those who abstained had the highest blood-pressure response to stress (Biological Psychology, vol 71, p 214).
Brody also made psychological measurements of neuroticism and anxiety in the volunteers, as well as work stress and partnership satisfaction. Even taking these factors into account, differences in sexual behaviour provided the best explanation for the range of stress responses. "The effects are not attributable simply to the short-term relief afforded by orgasm, but rather, endure for at least a week," says Brody. He speculates that release of the "pair-bonding" hormone oxytocin between partners might account for the calming effect.
From issue 2536 of New Scientist magazine, 26 January 2006, page 17

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Old 28-01-2006, 11:40 AM   #36
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Playm8
Sex before stressful events keeps you calm
...
GOT some public speaking to do? Here is a tip to keep stress at bay: have sex beforehand.
...
When I read this I just imagine the creation of new, um, employment opportunities. Or people refusing to give a speech without having a hooker provided.

'Media. I think I have heard of her. Isn't she the one who killed her children?'
'Different woman, same deal.' - American Gods, Neil Gaiman
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Old 28-01-2006, 01:40 PM   #37
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JayDee
Or people refusing to give a speech without having a hooker provided.
Surely if you spoke for a profession you could claim it on tax.

Where do you find sympathy? In the dictionary between shit and syphilis. -Danny Bhoy.
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Old 28-01-2006, 02:19 PM   #38
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Casanova
Surely if you spoke for a profession you could claim it on tax.
Heh heh. I bet there have been some funny things people claim.

'Media. I think I have heard of her. Isn't she the one who killed her children?'
'Different woman, same deal.' - American Gods, Neil Gaiman
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