Wil Anderson Articles/Reviews

[Cherryish]

NOW TAKE MY STRIFE

It's a funny business, comedy writing. Wil Anderson gags at the prospect.


Staring at the clock on my desk, I'm reminded that it's two hours past the final deadline for this column and I still haven't written a word. Well, technically, that's not quite true. I've now written about 35 words, but seeing all of them are about how I haven't written anything yet, I'm not sure they count.

I hate writing comedy.

Don't get me wrong, I love telling jokes. I can honestly say my jokes are without a doubt my best friends in the world. They feed me, get me drunk, pay my rent, buy my Buffy DVDs and sometimes even get me a pash. That craps all over any of my other mates.

Sure, my jokes have occasionally let me down, and once or twice what I thought was a joke was actually just a sentence in disguise. But at least my jokes have never slept with my girlfriend behind my back when I was on tour in Albury. Jokes one, mates nil.

But still I hate writing comedy.

Which wouldn't be a problem if I was a mortician. They don't have to be funny. You rarely hear someone start a eulogy with: "Knock knock! Who's there? It's Uncle Harry, you've buried me alive, get me out! ... Whew, tough crowd, who died?"

But as a stand-up comedian, you have to constantly be coming up with new material because no one wants to hear a joke again. That's why I'm so jealous of musicians. If you're a rock singer and you come up with a good song, you can perform it for the rest of your life and, in the case of the Rolling Stones, several years after you die.

No one ever goes to see the Stones and when Mick launches into Jumpin' Jack Flash stands up and heckles: "We've heard it before, do something new!" Whereas in comedy, when you launch into old material you are less likely to receive a cigarette lighter in the air and more likely to receive an ashtray in the head.

Unfortunately, that's very bad news for me because I hate writing comedy.

My main problem's getting started. I am a world-class procrastinator. For example, so far today, while I should have been working on this article, I've rearranged my CDs into alphabetical order, made eight cups of tea, checked my emails, rearranged my CDs into chronological order, eaten a block of chocolate, decided my deejay name, should I need one, would be JD Dyslexia, eaten a tub of ice-cream, rearranged my CDs according to colour, done 100 sit-ups because I'm feeling fat, and written a short film. In fact, often the only work I ever get done is while procrastinating from something else.

Hmm, I think I need another cup of tea.

Somewhere after the ninth cuppa is usually where the self-loathing really kicks in. This is where I'm totally convinced I'm not funny, will never be funny, and will have to settle for a life of saying, "Would you like fries with that?" or, even worse, as one of the writers of Comedy Inc.

This is traditionally the point where I open the Yellow Pages to see where I can find an infinite number of typewriters and a load of monkeys on short notice, or begin drawing up a list of comedians I could kill to steal their act.

Did I mention I hate writing comedy?

I think the hardest thing about writing comedy is that you can only really learn how to do it by doing it. There's no work experience, no joke-for-the-dole initiative, no school of hard knock-knocks and certainly no humourversity where you can enrol in "Advanced Heckle Comebacks" or "Have You Ever Noticed 101".

The first time I did a live gig, I had absolutely no experience, no training, and there were 200 people watching me work. In most other jobs, they don't even let you use the photocopier by yourself on the first day. Imagine if they did this in other careers.

"G'day, son, welcome to Qantas. Now I know you have no official training, but you've seen Top Gun, so here are the keys, easy on the clutch, chookas!"

Of course, none of this helps me right now. It all seemed so easy when it was first pitched to me. Simply write a piece giving some insight into what it's really like to write jokes for a living. Should be a piece of piss but five hours after sitting down at my computer I've got nothing but self-doubts, a sore tummy and a CD collection I just rearranged according to the Dewey decimal system.

I hate writing comedy ... can I get anyone a cup of tea?

* Wil Anderson will be performing at the Melbourne Comedy Festival from March 28-April 20.

Thankfully found on the bulletin website here.

There is a cartoon of will in a tuxedo suit-y thing infront of his computer painting his nails black, with a cat at the window.. and I would scan it, but my scanner decided to break, so all I can get is pretty rainbow coloured chopped up images.

Not sure if the magazine is in stores yet, because we've got a subscription, so we're supposed to get it earlier, or something.

me thinks wil's getting afew issues off his chest in that article.

[Fiona Rohana]

Originally Posted by Wil

I hate writing comedy ... can I get anyone a cup of tea?

Yes please. White with two

[Cherryish]

I was at work the other day flicking through the magazine when I came across the article , its just about what he likes to eat. And that Adam eats a roast chicken every morning for breakfast

Anyway, I would type it up, but i forgot to steal it from our lunchroom at work, and then forgot to buy it when I realised I forgot to steal it, but I'll see if I can get it next time I work.

(Btw, the Australian Good Taste Mag is a Woolworths thing, so you'll only be able to find them there and at some newsagents, i think)

[op shop girl]

Originally Posted by Cherryish

...when I came across the article...

Sorry, couldn't help myself
I'll behave

*wanders away muffling giggles*

[Cherryish]

I'll remember to always re-read my posts with my mind in the gutter in the future, to prevent that happening again :p

[pixieDAAS]

i read a article similar in Women's Day, about fitness, but it was with Adam, he said to lose weight, he had to cut out Monte Carlo's and cream, and for motivation, he looks at pics of himself when he weighted 108kg.

he didn't take the interview seriously, of course!

[unfrufru]

the idea of wil and good taste is not something i would normally put together

[Moogie]

Wil Get the Laughs...
Wil Anderson: comedian, TV presenter, radio jock and all-round nice guy, if a little hyper! EW caught up with him on his way from the airport to his hotel on the eve of his one-man show on now at the Brisbane Powerhouse.

Glad to escape Sydney's drenching weather?
Hell, yeah! I swear at the bottom of my street, there was this guy with long, white hair and beard, and I reckon he was making an arc. Next minute, I saw my cat strolling down the street paw-in-paw with another cat. Freaky, man. But no, seriously, it is really great being up here in Queensland. I mean, really, you guys have got the Crocodile Hunter and Big Kev, what more do you need?

Indeed. Tell me about your material for the show.
It's all funny stuff, I think, I hope. The only idea I have is that I have no idea! I have been doing this show for four months now and I think the show is 70% different to when I started. I just get up there and say what I reckon is funny.

With all the tv and radio and stand up gigs you have on at the moment, you are a busy boy... What's your secret to staying awake?
Crack cocaine. I used to drink coffee, but that stuff is so bad for you. My grandmother used to make crack pops, and I just got hooked from there. Thanks granny. Seriously, I love it, so it's not a chore to stay awake.

Favourite way to spend a Sunday afternoon?
Like any proud Australian, preparing for Big Brother of course! Getting together an eviction party - it is time to go... Carlo. Man, that dude has got to go down.

Who's your favourite Big Brother housemate?
Reggie all the way. I could spend a whole episode just watching Reggie. She's just beautifull dumb, but she's the only on in the house that will actually sit and listen to some one else, you know? It should be Reg Brother.

Last CD you bought?
Well I work in a radio station, so...

So, you don't have to buy CDs?
Yeah, right on. But in my CD player I have Pavement's new one. And Evan Dando. I must admit, my taste in music stopped in 1993. No, make that 1983. Ice Ice Baby is one of my all-time favourites. I know, I know... I'm not really qualified to work in radio, I am so unhip, so uncool when it comes to music.

What's your greatest weakness - other than your taste in music?
Yeah! Really crap romantic movies. You know how everyone has a guilty pleasure? Something they know they're not supposed to like, but secretly get a kick out of? Well, mine is really bad, really dodgy romantic flicks. Man, I love Hugh Grant! How dorky is that? I can't believe I just said that out loud! I know, I know, I have no street cred and if you want to hang up, you may do so.

So we have established you have a weakness, what about a strength?
Gosh, this sounds like a job interview! Strength? I dunno, none? No, no, no I've got it! I can leap tall buildings!

How do you gear yourself up for a live gig?
I have a massage, do some stretches and yoga and then I meditate. Yeah right, I have a beer, put on a shirt, some pants and I am ready! There is nothing I can really do to prepare. Cos, it's just me and a microphone and the audience. I just strive not to get bored before a performance. I like to have a book or some music or someone backstage to keep me occupied.

[unfrufru]

was it just me or was he trying too hard to be funny. going for the most obvious punchline? or maybe i've been willed out and can spot his lines a mile off

[ryttu3k]

'A little hyper' seems to be a bit of an understatement there...

And Hugh Grant? *dies* My gods. I will never take him seriously again. Not that I took him seriously before ;-)

[Beckslee]

there is nothing wrong with hugh grant movies, except that hugh grant is in them. We have nearly every hugh grant dvd available, but we don't actually like the twat.

[hellokitty]

what about four wedding's and a funerla..hes not too bad in that!

ad even if you don't like him there's alway john hannah to drool over..and he's reading a poem by one of my favourite poets, so i can't ask for much more

[unfrufru]

i was getting the feeling that i've read those jokes before

[unfrufru]

The Making of Me

What Changed Wil Anderson

Meeting My Muse
Every comedian needs a muse and Lyndal McIlwaine is mine. We met at an awards night for comedians in Melbourne in 1995 at a time when I was interested in doing comedy for a job. I'd done two gigs- one was great but the second was such a disaster, I was going to quit. She said "It's one all, so you'd better try again. At least go out on a majority decision". Luckily my next gig went okay. I was a journalist then and I used to pretend I was going out on stories and have four-hour lunches with Lyndal, talking about comedy. I wouldn't be a comedian without her.

Harsh Words from Esther Cribbes
I grew up in the Gippsland area, near Sale in country Victoria and I went to St Annes and Gippsland Grammar School. The deputy principal was Esther Cribbes. I'd written a play for drama class and she said it was disgraceful, ireeverent and embarressing. People from the country couldn't be performers she said. Don't dream. So I've always tried to prove her wrong. Before I started the Glasshouse I wanted to name it Stick It Up Your Arse Esther Cribbes so every week she'd open the paper and get the message. I was right. You can do anything.

My Best Mate
My life wouldn't be right without Jason Harrington. I only met him three years ago and I felt this click. He's a comedian too and the funniest person I've ever met.I live in Sydney, but we've got a place together now in Melbourne. We're beyond friendship now, nothing sexual, but kinda like a marriage. My girlfriend understands.At least I hope she does. I once saw Oprah with Matt Damon and Ben Affleck after they'd written Good Will Hunting. Oprah asked them to describe their relationship. Affleck said "matt's the guy I'd call if I woke up with a dead hooker in my hotel room". That's my relationship with Jason. If I've got a problem I speak to him.




for those who don't know Jason Harrington is AKA Justin Hamilton! I remember the story wil told a few years ago about Justin changing his name, quite funny